I feel that I am taking a risk writing this entry here. Part of it is wanting to feel seen and another part is wanting to share, express, bundle up a wad of energy in the package of words, sentences, nuance and style and put it out there; for peoples' pleasure, curiosity, and a sense of "I can do that, and I can do it well."  Validation, yes that's what I'm wanting. The intention underneath all of this is a a deep, juicy need to practice being transparent and vulnerable; always orbiting that soft spot and give it breath, life, thought waves, sound waves, form, structure, existence and eternity as opposed to remaining unborn in the void, the vacuum, the hole behind my diaphragm, my solar plexus, my heart, my anti- spine.

So, who am I writing for? For YOU and YOU and YOU and as many people who will read it and be in awe of it. That's the truth and on one level, it's draining and on another inspiring and motivating and scary. I've got this well-spring in me that I long to extend from my mid-riff out to you like some kind of beautifully, clear ectoplasm, chording it's way to your electromagnetic energy field where it blends with you; informing you, adding to you, reviving you in an "Ah Yes" and a knowing smile, the kind of smile that comes when the perfume of a beautiful flower probes your nostrils, firing the sensitive nerves in your olfactory centre just between your eyes... you become present, knowing, still, a little more on fire and enhanced by it's increased light.... for a few seconds. That is what I wish to give to you.

   Since I do not know who will read this and nor do I wish to keep tabs on how many viewings I get: Because that feels like a painful waste of energy to me, but I probably will look and be sensitive to the pain I feel every time I check the numbers, I will also remember that beauty exists all on it's own... it does not need to be seen to be validated or categorised or enhanced. Beauty is simply created and there it is until it dies and is then created again.
 
   This is all about me not deleting this post after an hour or a few days or 6 months, but just letting it be there. I owe that to myself, in the name of gentleness, worthiness and self care. Me space: We space.

           I see and feel everything in an artful way. Wether it is ugly or beautiful it still leaps onto my internal, sense-awareness, energetic-affectivity chart. The most impactful work of art I saw was this morning, when I walked into Ruben's, my son's room and there he was standing in his cot.... everything thrown out of it onto the floor..... what a creation. Him; round, moon-face, fluffy, curly hair as big as a motorcycle helmet, full of now, full of "Juice" in essence and expectancy... what a work of Art.

What also came to mind is the woman on the right in these pictures. She is my Great Grandmother, Etty, and therefore, Ruben's Great Great Grandmother. The other two are her sisters. She had 14 children. Her daughter's: my grandmother's; Miriam's ashes were scattered in a field last weekend. My grandmother died on March 11 this year, my birthday. I felt touched and communicated-with by that synchronicity. The work of art of generations..... the work of art of a camera to capture images....... and eyes to see....... and senses to feel..... and connective energy..... and existing through relationship......

Sharon